a couple new pics again... these new ones are some shots that I took with the 35 millimeter camera... they look so much better in real life because they were taken with a real camera, with a real lens. Even though the camera is ancient, it takes fantastic pictures. Here they are scanned with a fairly cheap scanner, so sorry they dont look better online.

Jon and I talked about this tonight over dinner at Chilis... (Happy Birthday Becky!) With the advent of digital cameras, everyone and their brother has gone out and gotten a digital camera, and most of the pictures (not all) really dont look that good. Often times they look pasty, shallow, flat, and artificial. My ancient camera turns out pictures that are full of life, vivid color, and depth. We discussed it, and decided that the lens has a great deal to do with it. To get a digital camera that can compare with my old 35 mil, you would need to spend about 2000 or something like that probably. Im not an expert, but I can tell a cheap picture when I see it. Oh, and everyone thinks they are saving so much money, till they find out that thier printer prints like crap, and then they need high quality paper, and special ink, and a paper trimmer, and a faster computer. Oh well, at least it helps the economy... another thing is that these people will need to go out and buy another digital camera in 5 years or so, because electronics break so easily, or go out of date.

I overheard the guy at the photo place complaining about how slow business was. Seriously, Im sure they are hurting because all the people shooting digital... not that it upsets me, except that they will probably not be able to keep doing the 1 hour film developing that is so convenient for me.

We will see... maybe there will be a retro revolution or something. All the people who got digital cameras that can hardly figure out how to work them, let alone do anything with the pictures once they have them on their computers.

ok, ive talked way too long about photography, of which I am no expert.

But man, aint my baby cute! All three of them are actually, did you see that one picture of the three of them with maria on the slide. Arent they cute! I looked really quick down the page at all the thumbnails from when maria was so little, it is crazy to see how she grew, and how fast it happened, and she is a cute little girl now, with her own personality, and attitudes and everything. She certainly has a mind of her own, but she will not be spoiled... not in this house! Spoiled people annoy me with their arrogance. So I know it is important that maria learn that she cant always get her own way.

Tonight maria painted with water colors for the first time. I bought them for her when I stopped in at rite aid... she was so excited when I gave them to her, and couldnt wait to do it. She is a little young, and kept smearing the colors from one color to another and making a mess, but it was great, and she had tons of fun. I will have to take a picture of her work. The masterpiece is now on the fridge.

I love being a dad. It fits me like a glove. Now I know what the phrase "they are my pride and joy" really means. I do sort of push out my chest (figuratively) when I am out in public with my little girls. And they bring such joy... especialy those little moments that you can never catch on video, or on film. You just have to try to capture them in your memory.

I was thinking about this too tonight. I know that I treasure my mom so much more now. We missed her when she was gone in scotland, so now the time I spend with her, I think about it more. And especially now that dad is gone... I know that we all take for granted our closest loved ones. I thought about it tonight when I stopped in at moms house. I just treasured the 5 minutes that we chatted about nothing in particular, about work, and the kids, and a little hug and I was on my way. I just thought about how much I appreciate and value being able to be close to her in this beautiful time of life.

Ive been telling people the past couple days that I feel giddy about life right now. There are some pressures, but they are greatly overwhelmed by the great fun and joy of new life, and the time I have spent at home in the past week. Life is great.

Sunday for the very first time in public, I will be trying my hand at scratching with the praise band. I still need lots of practice, but hopefully it wont be a disaster. I like scratching, but I need lots of practice to get better. The digital turntables make it a little easier since I dont have to worry about a needle, or physically messing up my records... but it still takes mad skills to make it sound good.

Ive posted more pics... things are going great although i dont feel like writing right now... i just feel lazy. So I will write something quick

today was a decent day. it started out early. I spent an hour or so up with Victoria around 3:30am or something then back up at 8:30... but im not complaining. Mostly I try to be a support to Candace who is doing the real work in the night shift... she just wakes me up if I can do something.

Edie came and spent the day, so I could go to work somewhat. Bought a car seat and some groceries and stuff, then spent the evening at home. Its been good to be around the house, especially to spend time with Maria. She is doing great so far with Tori and likes to give lots of kisses on the forehead.

Tori is looking more and more like maria... or at least I am noticing it more.

anyway she is so small and so cute, I can hardly stand it.

we are home... cant believe it, but they let us go home late wednesday night... exactly 24 hours after tori's birth.

now she is on my lap as i type this, with wide open eyes, just finished a very good feeding with mom, and a diaper change with dad, and ready to take on the world... only problem, mom and dad only had a couple of hours sleep last night, and its almost 1am... but it feels good to be home.

ooops crazy sounds coming out of the bottom, mean another diaper change is in order... dag, she was so ready to be put in bed!

Healthy visitors are welcome to stop by to see her in person. she is a cutie, and Maria loves her little sister too. gave her a kiss on the forhead earlier tonight. just call before you come, we'd love to see you.

Thanks go out to Edie and Betty for keeping maria through this all - both amazing grandmas! Thanks to Manny for being the very first visitor, and first one to hold her (besides us and the hospital peeps)

Thanks to Jan King our dulah
she was an amazing support to Candace, and is probably the reason Candace was able to do this without pain meds etc.

Thanks to Dr Heller, a really cool doc, strong, sensible, and supportive. And all the amazing nurses at the Reading Hospital. There were so many, and they were all great and supportive and helpful. We had a great esperience there.

well this one is screaming and needs something gotta go

pictures and video are posted... just click on the view pictures link on the left

if you have trouble viewing the video, email me.

aint she a doll!

wow its been like forever since I had something so profound to write about.

Its a girl! Victoria jade stoltzfus born 5/17/05 at 10:34pm 6lb 15oz and 19" long

I am so proud of Candace... she was amazing, and did the whole thing without pain medication of any kind. I know it was hard, but everything the ladies were saying about natural childbirth I think seems to be pretty right on. The extreme pain pushed the process along pretty quick, and it all seemed to progress so naturally. It seemed really hard, but I am so proud of her. She was in labor for 3 hours, and then pushed for another 35 minutes... And Victoria is beautiful. I am gonna post pictures as soon as i am done writing this post... and prolly a video clip too.

I am writing this at 3am, I got away from the hospital and ran over to the studio to post this stuff up on the web. They took the baby to bathe her and do some tests and warm her up and stuff... so I left so that Candace would have a bit of quiet for just a bit. she just called me and asked me to bring her some ice cream back :)

Yay... Im so excited, and when I picked her up for the first time, it just felt comfortable... like I remember how to hold a little tiny baby. It is awesome to hold her and just look at her.

It brought back memories of how nervous I was to pick up maria when she was first born. I thought I would break her... but this is different. I am careful, but not freaked out paranoid.

anyway, cant write too much, I will post the pics and get back to the hospital
peace yall